Blogging Fail but Life Success!

Blogging is hard. 

I have to think of something that is interesting, relevant, and true about my work here that will help you all to understand what is happening in my life. Sometimes I truly feel like nothing that has happened would be of interest to any of you and other times I know it will interest you but it is too personal to share with the whole wide web. At times I am so busy to take time from productive "work" to blog seems like a burden. Other times the process of blogging that needs a certain kind of Internet connection just keeps getting kicked off. Of the pictures take so long to upload that my computer seems like it is in pain. This season it has been even harder than usual!

I have been in a waiting phase. Waiting on Him has been incredible. But there is no outward fruit in my work and if any of you would have asked I would have had little ministry to show for it. However, I wanted to tell you about some of this fruit that is hard to outwardly show. 

I have been studying Esther, Proverbs, and the women of the Good Book. It has been amazingly encouraging as well as challenging. 

I think that most of us are slowly growing. Walking along toward becoming a more Father like individual. I am no different. I cannot adequately explain to you how or when I have grown this season. All I can really do is look behind me and see that this season-hard though it has been-has not been a waste. 

Esther's most famous verse comes from chapter 4. It says: "If you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" Her response is: "Then I will go to the kind, though it is against the law, and if I perish, I perish."  The thing that I have clung to during this waiting time is that at this time Esther had been queen for some time. They estimate approximately: 5 years. This was a lot of time before her destiny landed in her lap. Father knows exactly when we should act and when we need more preparation. But when the time to act arrives He usually makes it very clear. When the who knows becomes the I know. 

I have been wanting to act. Sitting on the edge of my seat longing to be in the battle. But it is as if my time has not yet come. So I have been seeking for guidance. Have I gone the wrong way? Have I missed a door open before me? Should I press harder? Should I change course? It is so tempting to make our own way when we are not sure if our waiting is of the Lord or if it is due to our lack of initiative or disobedience. So I sought wisdom from one of the wisdom books. I was certainly not disappointed. 

Proverbs 2:1-6 says: "My son, if you receive my words

and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding;"

Proverbs 18:1 says: "Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgement."

Proverbs 19:21 says: "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand."

Proverbs 4:23-26 says: 

Proverbs 16:3 says: "Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established."

Proverbs 11:14 says: "Where there is no guidance, a people fails, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety."

I have been reminded that as I seek out His will He surely will give it to me. I have sought the advice of wiser men and women than myself and I have sought my own heart and I came to the resolution that until the door opens either by its owner I am to wait. If it never opens then I will wait for the window to be opened.

 I tried to have my ear open for all matter of direction. From the squeak of the door being pushed open to the solid clank of the lock being thrown. I wanted to be clear when I finally made a move. 

Psalm 119:34-37 says:

Looking through the Old Testament I have been trying to learn from the women whom Father has named or not named how He wants us to lean. It has been an altogether different experience for me. Most of my life I have read the Old Testament as a way to understand who Father is and what He wants us to learn about Him from the OT. 

This time through I am examining the people whom He has associated Himself with and the positive or negative character aspects of each woman. It has been a fascinating and enlightening time. 

Sarah and Rachel both have taught me so much regarding waiting. Although, I am not waiting for a child that doesn't seem to be coming, I have been waiting since October to teach some students regarding the risks of the big world. The waiting is hard. Both Sarah and Rachel took matters into their own hands and tried to push through the promise of a child. Those actions caused a lot of trouble for them and the consequences were far reaching into the nations. I learn that often our human desire to control the situations we are in many times leads to our own sorrow later. We need to carefully think through decision that are big choices-making sure that they are in line with Father's word,  as well as how it will affect others.  The situation of these women also confirmed and reminded me that Father does not always take us out of hard places (like waiting for His promises). Instead, He sends us His strength to endure as well as His presence to comfort us. 

Of course there are lots of other lessons He has been teaching me. But these lessons are regarding this period of waiting that I have been doing since October 1. 

Ironically, as I waited I decided that a change of scenery would be a good idea and so I traveled to a different area of China to visit some dear friends and see their ministry as well as to just share with them some of the things that have been happening or not happening in my life. :) While there I was able to meet with a woman who was very keen to learn how to facilitate Shine plus she is interested in learning how to facilitate the School Program in her area. I talked to a co-worker in Singapore who also has a group of women who are interested in learning how to facilitate Shine. My bucket began to overflow with opportunities. PTL!! 

The season of waiting is officially over as this past week my co-worker and I started a Shine course for the 6 new women who have left prostitution here. From this week on I will be pretty busy with all sorts of activities, trainings, relationship building, and teaching work. His faithfulness is always sure. 

Official January 2015 Newsletter

(Written November 2014)

I don’t know about how your new year has started; but, I am overwhelmed by my Father’s goodness to me. Returning to work in Kunming has been so much different that I had ever imagined. I have been gifted with an abundance of change. I don’t like change. I like to know what to expect and I want to plan for the future. But these past few months I have been on an adventure with Him that hasn’t completely changed everything but has the great potential to change my roadmap. 

Psalm 145:2 “Every day I will bless you and praise your name forever and ever.”

I am still in the processing phase but I am excited to see where this road will take me. 

So far it has taken me to Myanmar. I went with another Shine Facilitator into Yangon late November and was a part of giving 8 women a new outlook on life as well as train 2 of them to continue to pour into other women. It was an exciting and challenging opportunity. We gave the Shine message to 7 different people groups. John 16:33b “But take heart; I have overcome the world.” 

My co-worker, Angela, who goes with me to the rural schools and translates for me is pregnant. Which is a huge blessing but it is a change in our situation. Women in China are not usually encouraged to go or do many things while they are pregnant and after giving birth they are cloistered in their homes for an entire month. So these next 10 months have the potential for some slow progress in the Shine School Program.

Please ask for Angela’s health as well as her baby’s during this time, ask that she would be willing to continue taking our program to the villages, ask that Father would provide me with enough ministry work so that I feel that I am being useful but also able to adequately spend time with Him.

Matthew 28:20b “And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” In March of 2012, I wrote to you: “The place I am at confuses me....God has told me that I am to be His servant and at this time he has said it is to be in China. I do not understand how I will be used but I know that God’s ways do not always work out to our logical way of thinking. As I continually petition for direction and guidance, please hold on with me as I fumble and search for the next step.” 

Now is similar to that time. I am seeking His face daily as I walk upon this trail that He has laid before me. It is suddenly filled with wildness, flowers, stumbling, tenderness, and wonders I hardly believe are real. I am amazed and overcome. I know my words are vague and I am writing figuratively because I am not through the tunnel yet and don’t yet feel able to share all the details at this time. 

Song of Song 8:7a “Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it out.” Despite, the slight befuddlement,  I know that my Father is with me and loves me in a way that I cannot fathom and because of His great love I can rest knowing that this path, this journey is for my good. I am ready and willing to go where He leads to receive the good gifts He has for me. 

Official December 2015 Newsletter

Alleluia, we can sing it. Alleluia, heaven’s ringing. Alleluia!  Endless hope and relentless joy started with a Baby Boy.”

 Baby Boy by For King and Country

Merry Christmas! 

This is my first official newsletter after getting back into the swing of things here. (written Oct 27th) I had a wonderful time in the States. Getting reconnected with many of you was such a blessing to me. One of my favorite things I got to do with my dad on this trip was that I got to canoe down part of the James River. 

It just a good time in Father’s world, seeing His beauty, working hard, and being with my dad. We were doubly or triply blessed because we were visited by an Asian Big Head Carp. It just jumped out of the river into our canoe.  It was startling and exciting. 

This made me think about how much of that canoe trip is how I want my life to look like. I want to be sitting in the front of my boat (life) looking and acting like I am directing it’s way. While someone else (dad/Father) does the real paddling and actual steering. I want to appreciate all the lands and animals go by and just enjoy my ride. Then I want to suddenly have fruit, a giant fish in my lap. 

But usually, most of us, don’t find that this is how life works. Usually I am sitting in the front of my boat (life) feeling and sometimes acting like I don’t know which way is the way to go. Likely as not paddling against what the man behind me (Father) is trying to do. Causing waves and not getting very far. Sometimes, I see the world around me as Father’s handy work but more often I have critical eyes that find the things that need to be changed. And in reality-if I want to see a fish in my lap (fruit) I have to be patient with the right tools and with the right attitude. Sometimes it takes years. It can be exhausting all that waiting. 

This endless hope and relentless joy that is sung about in the song above is a great mystery that comes to followers of Father’s Son. It is a hope and joy that permeates our souls even when we are tired, worn down, troubled, angry, or saddened. It overrides our basic emotions and settles deep inside. If you don’t know the Son this all sounds rather strange-but I bet you have longed for that kind of hope, peace, and joy. 

This life of mine is good. I am blessed beyond what I deserve. But it can exhaust me. Before I came back to the States I was tired but I was not joyless. The beauty, familiarity, and love I experienced during my time in the States refreshed me and between the gifts I received from our good Father and the encouragement I received from many of you I regained energy for this upcoming year of service.

We are currently waiting on our government partner to guide us to our next school but I do get to meet with some partners of Eden this upcoming week. It is shaping up to be a good and busy year.  

I hope that your year is filled with things that bless you. Mostly, though, I hope that you can find the endless hope and relentless joy that comes from knowing and loving and serving Christ Jesus. 

Myanmar 2014

So I have been to Myanmar and back.

We watched from the sky as we landed and were fairly certain that we would be like the city mouse goes to the country. There were no tall buildings. Nothing to indicate that we were in a metropolitan area.  But once we got on the ground and entered the city the massive traffic jams cured us of any country expectations. 

We desended from the plane to the amazing view of Air Force One. It was just a plane. But a huge white mechanical genius with the big blue letters spelling THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA followed by the Red White and Blue. It was breath taking. Being the only American on the plane from China to Yangon I felt almost like royalty. Perhaps we would see Him. Of course we did not. In fact His presence in the city caused traffic to be blocked off and detoured in such a way that I actually began to feel embarrassed that such a fuss was being caused by my head of state. 

Saturday, the first full day in Myanmar was spent shopping. We trucked ourselves down to the gem market and some gems were purchased. We got to meet the seller who sells Eden many of their jewels. It was really cool. Of course every sapphire or ruby or fire opal that I asked to see were in the thousands of dollars. I consoled myself by congratulating myself that I have good taste.  We got to meet a monkey at one of the churches in downtown Yangon. 

Sunday, we had fellowship in the afternoon. It was a new place that has been gradually growing and was held in a small apartment. It was a very charismatic group that met with several healings as well as many words of wisdom spoken for many there.  

Monday, we began to teach Shine at 10am. We had expected to have 6 participants. Three women wanting to be trained as facilitators and three as participants. In the way that only Father can do things we arrived Monday morning to find 10 participants. Which was the exact number of gifts I had packed for each session. Hooray for His Plan. Some of the teaching we had to change due to cultural differences and or educational levels. 

Tuesday, two of the women who attended on Monday were ill. So from Tuesday on we had 8 women that we taught. We had four days to go through all eight sessions and we succeeded. Each session has a special gift at the end. On day's gift is usually a letter that tells them what potential we have seen shining from them. Because many of the women could not read we tried to give them tangible gifts that would have some significance to the sessions. So instead of writing them each a letter this time we painted them a picture with one word on it.  

Please lift these women up as they go forward in sharing what they learned from Shine with other women. 

P.M.-her favorite session was: My Potential is Limitless.

W.M.-her favorite session was: My Decisions determine my Destiny

D.D.-her favorite session was:My Life has a Purpose

L.S.-her favorite session was: My Life has a Purpose

T.T.-she didn't have a favorite session.

M.A.- her favorite session was: You are One of a Kind

S.T.-her favorite session was: My Decisions determine my Destiny

J.J.-her favorite session was:You are Valuable

There were 10 people groups represented at our Shine Graduation, including Kalinda, our Chinese helpers, and myself. 

Thank you for your petitions for me while I was there, I know that your faithfulness helped me greatly. I was seriously exhausted once returning home due to the intense ministry that was undertaken. I would be glad to share more details one on one in person via Skype or Face Time or via email. Your support and love is felt. Thank you!

Youth Group Talk

My life has been a huge whirlwind since being back here. 

I was able to have a junior high girl sleepover about a week after returning from the States. 

Talk about jumping right in!!

We have the Youth Group's annual fund raiser the last Saturday in November so we painted canvases for the event. I wasn't quite sure how it would all end up but it turns out that they were all hiding artists. I was really proud. 

In the process of being active at Youth Group again I volunteered to speak about how JC gives us a relationship with our Heavenly Father. Many of you know that our salvation isn't the only thing that dying on a cross accomplished for us. It is a reality that many of us take for granted. It was a good reminder for me. Preparing for it was exhilarating because I was reminded that in the beginning we were all created to be in relationship with Him. It is only due to our own sin and no longer being pure or holy that caused our own personal rift with the Father.  BUT because He loved us so much He sent His Son to repair that rift to pay the consequences of our sin so that we could be reconciled to Him. 

HIS LOVE.

It is a mighty thing. To be loved is precious. We asked the kids at Youth Group-Do you Love God? One of the junior high girls responded-"It would be weird to not love someone who loves you so much." I thought her comment was deeply profound. Do you know that He loves you? 

He does. 

I John 4:18 &19 says: "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because He first loved us."

As I attempt to share the love that He has given me with those around me I ask that the One who loves you would turn your head toward Himself today. Spend some time with One who deeply longs for you to be with Him. 

Official October Newsletter!!

Hi. 

I am excited to tell you that I have made it back to China safely and am looking forward to another eventful year. 

I am so very thankful for all your love and encouragement. I was able to see many of you while I was in the States these past few months. My time in the USA was very full. I was blessed to share this work with many new groups of people and re-connect with long time friends and supporters.

While there, I was able to touch base with old KM teammates who have big changes in their future and was able to properly give them encouragement as well as have good closure to our times together. This was really special to me and I was really glad to be able to be encouraged by them as well.

Thank you so very much to all of you who were able to make time in your life to meet with me. For those of you who were unable to see me due to my schedule or your schedule, I hope that next time I am on Home Assignment we can make a rendezvous happen.  

I was blessed by the many churches and individuals that I was able to meet with. This was one of my requests to Father before I came back to the States that He would bless me with meeting new people and making good connections.  So, Thank you.